Meltdown the Autism Way

Yep, I knew it would happen but I didn't expect it until later.....like maybe one
 month after school had started. NOT on the 4th day!!!!  He didn't want to get
out of bed. HE wanted to "stay sleep".  So I took off his blanket and asked him
to please get out of bed. He curled up in a tighter ball and put his three fingers
back into his mouth (he's done this for many years, like a comfort to him).

I begged and finally gave up. I called DADDY. On speaker DADDY told him
it's time to get up. No movement. Oh yes, it was awake but just wanted us both
to go away. He put his hand over the ear that wasn't being covered by his pillow!
OH no, that's not going to work. Daddy, NOT happy at this point said he was
going to lose privileges. Still didn't get up. Daddy hung-up.

SO, Mommy picked him up (he weighs 91#) and carried him into the bathroom.
I took his "night pants"  (he's NOT continent @ night and some days are tough
as well). I told him he must shower (boy did he need it). He just sat down and
cried. AND before you feel sorry for him, this is his way of getting what he
wants, more sleep. And when I left the room that's when the meltdown started.
He was sure I was being mean. He doesn't want to go to school, he wants to
sleep and watch PBS' Kids. I'm NOT being mean. I love this little one, he's my
son. I must get him to school. NO I'm not wanting him to be normal---I know
that's NOT possible. But I do want him to function and not just sit and watch
TV or play games. HE can do that much, he is able to talk. I have worked so
much to get him vocal. It was an uphill battle but I did that. Yep, hubby and
big sister were 100% on this team too.

So, I waited 35 minutes and called DADDY again. Daddy wasn't as nice as
Mommy was being,  Daddy got angry. So we hung up and my little boy
screamed to the  top of his lungs for me to put him in the shower. Mission
accomplished. All the screaming, crying, moaning, groaning, rocking and
pounding didn't work.....oh well.  After the shower he found his clothes laid
out on his now, clean bed. That set off yet another meltdown. THIS one was
totally neuro. HE didn't want to go to school and I had out his school clothes.
He just couldn't understand why he had to go to school. It was just very sad.
I tried to explain to him but it was like talking to a wall of bricks.

He made it to one of his favorite spots----the Lazy Boy chair. I turned off
the TV (I leave it one for the dogs while we are away) and told him no TV,
no ipad, no DS----NOTHING. He would just have to sit there. OH it got bad.
Daddy call again. All Daddy had to say was, "I'm coming home and you had
better be dressed  young man." Oh it got bad once again. BUT, he went up
and got dressed. The zipper and button he needed help with ~~~ and of
course he blamed Mommy for having to go and not getting to sleep.
BUT off to school we went. Nothing like the happy Dwarf's either.

I made HIM tell the secretary why he was late. "I want to sleep".  She told
him they missed him @ school. Then when I was walking out I heard the
secretary say to another, "Why does she have to be so mean".  IT took
everything in my soul not to bite her head off.  BUT I did wish MUCH BAD
karma onto her.  I'm trying to make my son a responsible child. Okay, as
responsible as a child with Autism can be. HOW dare her judge me.

He got to class and he thought I would stay with him. NOT. I left. It all turned
out fine. BUT a few seconds later (I waited in the lobby for just in case) there
was the aide and my son. With all his trauma this a.m. we forgot his head set
for noise. Darn good thing we live so close. He got the head set and off to
class he went again.  Then I noted, the aide is the height of my son! My son
is 9 yrs old and a size 14 boys.

HE did have a good day. NO it didn't start that way but it was a  good end.
He playground is a positive place. He loves the monkey bars (the round ones).
He laughs and giggles.  The Principal  is just sure he's perfect and the office
secretaries too. Gotta love them for knowing so much.  IF he's having a
problem wanting to go to school on the 4th day~~~~I don't want to think
about the rest! OR maybe this was it and he will finally love the place.  OH
that would be a huge blessing. It takes 3 med's to get him there~~~and to
be sorta' "normal".  That means not attacking anyone (too many people in his
area  gives him huge panic attacks), and working on being sociable.

All in all it was an okay day. Just another day in the life of  a family with a
little child with Autism. YOU know what I mean, don't you!!!! ~~~
Have a good evening. I will. ~~~~It's almost bed time!

Our School Journal for Autistic Child First 3 Days

PHOTO COPYRIGHT @ autismforlife blogger.

do not copy my photo. 

25 Aug 2013 Sunday
Spiderman lunchbox packed for tomorrow. DARN I hope they let him stay even if I have to be w/ him. He is ready. Asked me yesterday to make him "kini bread" zucchini-banana bread. "AND drizzle lemon frosting on it Mommy". That means use real lemon juice and some County Time Lemonade and mix until running. He's not into sweets, just like the flavors. SO cute. THEN he said," and some applesauce-Lemon Muffins. And then some pasta". I spent much time baking and cooking and he was in heaven. He put kini bread in lunch w/ everything he likes. HAPPY time for us all. Blessings just keep arriving. I got books from library to keep me busy while he's @ school. HAPPY times, so far, so great!

ANSWERS I GOT ON MY FB PAGE:

A heart from Cindy.

GO BRAXTON! I'm so happy for you. Tell me how your first day was! from his Aunt Linda

Enjoy your 1st day of school my buddy!  from Pam.
***How did my buddy's 1st day go??? later from Pam.

How did it go this morning? R u going to post pics for a brief minute? Im excited to hear how it went, crossing fingers, saying a prayer o:) from cousin Sherilynn.

AND I ANSWERED:
Sorry Sherilynn & Aunt Linda... Didn't post photos. He had a really tough night. Tons of nightmares
from 7pm to morning. Mommy was on duty. Daddy duty is Friday & Saturday night.....cuz Daddy works
outside the home.

And her answer:  Hope it all goes well today. Keep us posted. Anxiety is never easy for anyone. Hang
in there it'll get easier + prayers+always  from cousin Sherilynn. 

26 August 2013 by my son age 9 yrs.

i like recess i played on climbing bars and laughed it is very loud in class i wear my ear boves i don't like that I get pushed i don't like it teacher said keep hands off and they don't i ate lunch with my class i never got to do it at other school i ate in my class with teacher i got tired school is all day daddy made me get out of bed i am tired they do not have ipad mine was at home my dog was at home i was at school i have to go back again i like to be at home my teacher was nice some of the kids are not i do not like kids i like big one the other lady is nice my mom said we are going back and that it will be nice i will call my sissy and tell this is from Braxton bye from Braxton i have spiderman backpack

MOMMY'S ANSWER:

 He's fine. Just grumpy and NOT wanting to go back. Braxton doesn't like kids of any age. Just adults. Teacher is from Colorado (happy dance here) and over 10 yrs experience. Aide has 5 yrs experience and neither of them yelled or degraded students today. HELLO that's a milestone for son to witness! HEY, he retyped what I wrote. AND that's okay. He doesn't like " or ' but note he MISSED one...ha ha. Love him. Seems I'm going to get told on. Autism DOES NOT LIE... he he Will post photos later. love to all, thx for the prayers.

From Cousin Sherilynn:

Thx for the update I feel like I'm part of the whole transition. Thank you.  I'm so proud of you, your a wonderful mother and a role model to all mothers of autistic children  and to quote Doc Holiday from the movie Tombstone "there is no normal life Wyatt. There's just life" I love you!! High five Braxton for me he did a SUPER GREAT JOB!!

From Pam:

Good!!!

From Ken (he also has a son  w/ Autism):

 Cool back pack(son's name was here)! Mine doesn't have anything on it. You don't get to have cool stuff when you are an adult. I hope the kids start treating you better. Just remember if it gets hard your mom loves you a lot, and it won't be long before you get to come home again!

From Kelly:

 That is great Mommy (my name was here). You are a super Mom! I can't believe that there could be moms that don't do everything they can for their children, but I know there is. God bless the children one and all! Good luck with everything! At least you know you can hold your head up high!

From Cousin Mary:

 For a little guy it's very well said. You're a good mommy!!

From DADDY:

He  reads @ above 10th grade and comprehension is same. Science--he's VERY advanced as well. ONLY two things he will do though.

From Terri:

Have a better day today (my son's name was here). 

27 August 2013

"What's on my mind? " SLEEP, that stuff I didn't get last night !!!!!!! My FB post this a.m.

 We left school @ 10am. The classroom is noisy. Well, if you put 12 children from first - third 

grade in one room it's gonna' happen. My son has ABOVE SUPERIOR HEARING. IF you 

watched the show M.A.S.H. think of Radar! He can hear anyone whispering from across the 

room. HE can hear us talking in whispers and he is downstairs and we are upstairs and NOT 

my vents. Even his headset doesn't block the loud noises in class. He got sick to his stomach 

and a headache. He's in the lazyboy laying down w/ PBS kids on so low I can't hear it....he 

hears every word. It's no ones fault, it's just his life. The District RN (doesn't have a child w/ 

Autism) thinks I need to get him into surgery. He won't get any surgery. He was born w/ heart 

problems. NOT going to take that risk. Every day I thank God he's my son. Every day I'm so 

happy WE CHOOSE him from NICU. YES, life would be easier if he wasn't Autistic.BUT NO 

one, save God himself knows what any child will be @ birth. I did make a rule today. NO ipad, 

DS or Wii if we stay home from school or come home from school. I don't want him to use this 

as an escape. Teacher said by end of week or next week class WILL be more calm or 

students will be put in time-out area (out of room). Looks to me like some of them can't calm 

down. Brax is medicated for his safety and others as well. NOT all parents agree but it's our 

choice and his medical TEAM agree. May the Lord bless each one of you. EVERY comment 

you make, Braxton reads. It just makes his heart soar that the "big uns" accept him, since 

children are mean and hateful to him---he has "frin" here.Ken, DON'T private post. WE have to 

stand up. WE have a different mission than other parents. Why God choose us, we won't know--

-until later. BUT he did choose us, stand proud my friend. My love to all.

MY ONLY ANSWER:

My son  has been in school since 2nd grade. His older brother has severe peanut allergies and had to be home schooled. My son can be very disruptive so we sent him to school. We faced some of the same issues with him. He couldn't take his toys and that took awhile to get past that. We let him play with Sonic until the bus came and took care of Sonic for him until he got home. It took a few weeks but he got past it. 
We had issues with the district. They have their own SE program, but even with his medications (childs name was here) was too much for them to handle. We picked him up every day for a month. The day we came to pick him up and two teachers were sitting on him in the gym that was it. He is now in a school that is set up for kids with behaviors. If your school isn't working out they have to provide an appropriate alternative. They will fight you every step of the way. Schools are faced with budget cuts and shortfalls and it costs more to send kids to an alternative school. But if they can't handle him, if he doesn't gain from the experience, ( and I know how hard it is to make any progress), push for another school. 
I didn't know this until we found a good advocate that had made major changes for Hawaii's schools and came here to help us, but any child can have an IEP, ( individual Education Plan), they just have to ask for one. If a family is going through a hardship and it effects a child's education his parents can request an IEP. 
I know you have that in place but you can call for a new one whenever you see a need. Call one and redefine (my  son's name was here) his  needs if you need to. Keep us posted. We'll keep praying for you!