April is Autism Awareness Month. For this family we are aware of Autism yearly, 
monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, per second.  

It's also my son's birthday month. I make him homemade cupcakes --- he has anaphylactic shock from eggs.  I use applesauce or plain gelatin in place of eggs. 
This birthday was like most. My son wants cupcakes that aren't "BROKEN".  When 
he peels off the cupcake wrapper, if one tiny piece of  cupcake comes off, "it's broken". Sad eyes full of tears and a meltdown follows. Sadly, this happens each birthday. But the next day he will start eating a "broken cake", because if not they go directly to the garbage. This year he wanted mango-pineapple frosting. He loved it and so the "broken cakes" could be covered with frosting!  Where there's a will there's a Mommy trying to figure out the "fix".

Our little boy  has  "chocolate skin", his words, not ours. He melts down if anyone says "black".  "Don't you know your colors, can't you see, are you blind, I am chocolate."  He has even put up a milk chocolate bar next to his skin to show those BOLD enough to make this horrible mistake. We have talked to others until we were blue in the face trying to explain skin color is NOT important, to our son. BUT until the masses of the world STOP commenting on his skin color, he will lash out verbally to educate anyone that can hear --- he's chocolate!

Going shopping for clothes is nothing short of a NIGHTMARE. First it can't be crowded. If anyone touches him, rubs up against him by accident they get a mouthful of Autism! "Don't touch me, YOU NO TOUCH me". Never is it intentional, it's always someone walking by or also looking at clothes accidently touches him. WHOA be to ye that touch this little boy, accident or not!  

My little boys favorite colors are Orange, Brown, Green. NO exceptions. It's actually my fault. His bed frame wood - brown (actually lightly stained pine, but he sees it as brown). His walls were painted a light green for a calming effect (we were told by an expert). His sheets were bright orange (for color). And so, as he grew everything had to be these three colors --- and no more are included by my son. I did this decorating when he was 2 years old. HE now can talk and remembers every detail of  what was done and when. THIS amazes my hubby, older daughter and myself. WHAT a memory he has.

While shopping this month he found camouflage pants. He loves camouflage anything. Shoes, jacket, coat, pants, shirts.  I sadly called them "cammy". He had a huge meltdown. NEVER mind that I was in the military and when I was, our units called them "cammy". It's camouflage not cammy or camo and he will NOT make any exceptions.

We have an older daughter. She's married and living in another state. It's becoming more difficult to make our son understand we can't just pile into the SUV and go see his Sissy.  In a very loud voice (like it's going to make a difference) -- "I go see my Sissy NOW".  No map on or off the internet seems to sink into his brain, just how far away his Sissy now lives. Very heartbreaking actually. He tolerates his brother-in-law, since "he took my Sissy". Oh my, it's such a difficult thing for my little boy. Heartbreaking. His "Sissy" was
a teen  when we brought him home as a 3 day old adorable, special baby. WE CHOOSE HIM!

He still has no empathy or sympathy  for others.  He became so angry, while my husband was rushing me to the ER when I was violently ill. My husband was asked to leave the ER room where I was and escorted to the waiting room. The meltdown continued so an ER Doctor suggested my husband take our son home where he felt more safe. When my hubby and little boy came back to see me in my hospital room, the RN's insisted they leave and not return since my little boy's meltdowns couldn't stop in  the hospital room either. It was a very long 3 1/2 days in the hospital for me and our little family.

He's now nine years old. He's bold only when he thinks it matters. Things that matter to him just seem so unimportant to the masses. He loves Care Bears*, My Little Pony* and Spiderman*.  He laughs when someone falls or is hurt.  Life can be very difficult 
especially when medications don't seem to work on a regular basis. Our life is a challenge. We only pray, hope we can care for our son in a way that will help him become more independent and intelligent as he ages. We love him, we cherish him. We now know why Heavenly Father didn't bless us with more children (we married later in life).

He is OUR son, our pride our joy or passion. He has Autism. Blessings onto you and yours. 2013 April